The very first step in the process of preparing for your marriage begins with carefully reading through these Marriage Preparation and Wedding Guidelines. After you have read the guidebook, contact the parish office at 248-853-5390 or email the Marriage Preparation Coordinator at [email protected] and request an appointment with Deacon Joe Karle. Deacon Joe will meet with engaged couples the first and third Monday evenings each month.
According to Archdiocese of Detroit, at least a six-month preparation process, from the time you meet with the Deacon to your wedding date, is required for you to get married in the Catholic Church.
In order to schedule a wedding at St. Mary of the Hills, at least one of the engaged couple must be a baptized and practicing Catholic. Each party must be free to marry according to Canon Law of the Catholic Church.
This is a holy time in your life, please remember to PRAY. Attend mass on Sunday, go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation on a regular basis, read your bible and pray. There is no substitute for prayer. This will sustain you as you prepare for your wedding and all the days of your married life.
Wedding ceremonies are performed Friday afternoon or evening based on the availability of the church and the pastor.
Saturday afternoon at or before 2:00 PM. St. Mary of the Hills has a mass on Saturday evening at 4:00pm - November through February - and 5:00pm March through October. A wedding must be concluded by at least 3:30 pm to allow for preparation of the evening mass and Reconciliation.
We do not offer Sunday weddings.
Many engaged couples choose to conduct their marriage preparation and wedding ceremony at St. Mary of the Hills. This is the most common practice of engaged couples who get married at St. Mary of the Hills.
Some couples prefer to conduct their marriage preparation at St. Mary of the Hills, but choose to have their wedding at another location, perhaps at a downtown Detroit parish, St. John or Cross In The Woods. We will be happy to walk with you through your marriage preparation process and then send your wedding file to the church where the ceremony will take place.
Some couples , most commonly those who live out of state, conduct the marrige preparation process at their local church in the state in which they reside, but choose to have their wedding ceremony at St. Mary of the Hills. We would be happy to set the date and accept the marriage file that is sent from the local parish.
Within Mass -This form of Matrimony is generally celebrated when the bride and groom are both Catholic.
Without Mass (no Eucharist) - This form of Matrimony is generally celebrated when only the bride or the groom is Catholic, but both bride and groom are baptized. This form of celebrating Matrimony is still considered a valid sacrament within the Catholic Church.
Between a Catholic and a Non-Christian
This form of Matrimony is generally conducted when the bride or groom is Catholic and is celebrating Matrimony with a non-baptized candidate.
Please refer to your Together for Life book or go online at www.togetherforlifeonline.com for more specific explanation of the forms of Celebrating Matrimony.
Steps for Arranging a Wedding:
The wedding license can be obtained through the Oakland County clerk’s office at www.oakgov.com or in the clerks office where the bride or groom reside. There is a 3-day waiting period and the license is good for 30 days after it is issued. You will each need to bring a birth certificate and driver’s license when you apply or pick up your wedding license.
We believe our parishioners are good stewards and generous with their support of the Church, therefore, there is no monetary charge for the celebration of the sacrament of Matrimony for our parishioners. However the following fees and donations will be incurred and envelopes are provided for your convenience.
Wedding Programs:
While it is not necessary, a program or worship aid will help your guests by providing musical refrains, prayers and reading responses and an outline of the order of the ceremony. A handout will be especially helpful for those in attendance who are not familiar with Catholic liturgy. For information about reprinting the scripture reading, visit www.usccb.org/bible/permissions or www.catholicweddinghelp.com.
The Wedding Rehearsal
Each step of your wedding ceremony will be practiced at the wedding rehearsal with the Wedding Coordinator which typically last one hour. All those who have a part in your wedding ceremony should attend the rehearsal to become familiar with their roles. This includes readers, members of the wedding party, individuals bringing gifts and carrying cross to the altar, flower girl and the ring bearer, if applicable. Parents and grandparents attend as well.
We ask everyone to arrive promptly. A smooth, well-ordered rehearsal makes for a less stressful wedding ceremony. Please be gracious to the Wedding Coordinator as this is her ministry to the Church. It is best that everyone pay attention, listen carefully and keep extraneous conversation for later. Remember, she is there to assist you in making your wedding day run smoothly.
Music Guidelines:
Please email Dan Greig at d[email protected] to schedule your appointment to discuss music arrangements or stop by and see Dan after the Saturday or Sunday masses.
Suggested Music Selections for the Ceremony
Processional / Recessional (Choose Three)
Canon in D Trumpet Voluntary
Jesu Man's Desiring Trumpet Tune
The Wedding Song The Wedding March (Recessional)
Be Thou My Vision
Responsorial Psalm (Choose One)
Psalm 33: God is Love
Psalm 103: Loving & Forgiving
Psalm 128: Blest are Those Who Love You
Songs for the Offertory & Communion (Choose Two)
Prayer of St. Francis One Bread, One Body
Let Us Be Bread When Love is Found
Taste & See No Greater Love
We Have Been Told Covenant Hymn
We Come to Your Feast I Have Loved You
Panis Angelicus The Greatest Gift
Not for Tongues of Heaven's Angels
Like a Seal on Your Heart
Songs to bring flowers to Mary our Blessed Mother
Hail Mary: Gentle Woman
Ave Maria
Flower Guidelines:
We are very generous in accommodating most flower requests. There are just a couple things to keep in mind when planning for your flowers. Keep in mind the nature of the liturgical season in which your wedding ceremony will be held. For instance, during the weeks after Christmas and Easter, the church may already be decorated with Christmas Trees, poinsettias or Easter lilies and you will not need additional flowers.
Two large floral arrangements look beautiful on the two stone pedestals on either side of the altar. We would appreciate if the two floral arrangements on the stone pedestals remain in the church as a donation to be used for the weekend masses. Since the bride and groom will be standing up on the altar, we ask that you not plan for flowers on or in front of the altar.
Flowers for the Blessed Mary may be offered after communion by the bride and groom. A small bouquet or a single flower would be lovely.
Unity candles may be incorporated into the ceremony. The unity candle, provided by the bride and groom, will be placed on a small table on the right side of the church, next to the baptismal font. At your wedding rehearsal, the Wedding Coordinator will give you the details for the process of lighting the unity candle during the ceremony.
If pew bows are desired, we have white and off-white bows which are placed every other pew. Please let the Wedding Coordinator know during your wedding rehearsal. If you prefer to bring your own, there are a total number of pews 22 and the bows must be secured with pew clips only.
For everyone’s safety, aisle runners are not permitted.
Photography and Videography Guidelines
To maintain a prayerful atmosphere during the Sacrament of Marriage, we provide the following guidelines:
Photographs are generally allowed before, during and after the ceremony. Due to the Saturday evening mass schedule, pictures after the ceremony may be under time constraints.
Flash photography is permitted during the entrance processional and recessional only. Please no flash photography once the ceremony has started.
During the ceremony, the photographer should be as discreet as possible and should never step up on the altar during the ceremony. Photographers should be respectful of the space; appropriate attire is expected.
Pre-ceremony photographs may be taken. The church and grounds will be available one hour prior to the start of the ceremony.
Post-ceremony pictures may be taken but must be limited to 30 minutes after the ceremony on a Saturday afternoon in consideration for the Reconciliation and Mass.
The Videographer may use the same guidelines as stated above.
Participation of Family and Friends in the Wedding Liturgy
Couples are encouraged to invite family members or friends to serve as Readers for the first reading, second reading and for the Prayers of the Faithful. Attempt to choose family or friends who are experienced public speakers and who are comfortable with reverent speaking in front of an audience. The readers should attend the wedding rehearsal.
There is also an opportunity to choose 2-4 people to bring up the offertory gifts (bread and wine) at the Preparation of the Altar and a person to carry the Cross during the entrance processional . You could also choose one person to perfom multiple roles. These participants should also attend the wedding rehearsal.
Alter servers are provided by the church.
Dressing Rooms
The bride and her party will use the St. Joseph room where there is a rest room and a full length mirror. The bride can choose to get dressed at home or at the church, depending on the weather and what’s best for the bride. The groom and groomsmen are welcome to gather in the East Overflow Room and should definitely come to church dressed in their attire.
Liturgical Procession
This details of the wedding ceremony will be determined by the bride and groom who will mark their preference in the Together for Life Worksheet. You may also obtain the worksheet at www.togetherforlifeonline.org The Wedding Coordinator will go over the details during the rehearsal.
The Wedding Day
You should plan on arriving at the church at least 45 minutes before the ceremony. Give yourself time to relax at the church, and in fairness to others, start the wedding on time.
The time before the wedding is a good time to set a positive tone for your wedding. It is a good idea to make sure people are warmly greeted at the main doors of the church when they arrive, preferable by the family of the bride and groom. This is probably the most effective thing you can do to make people feel welcome, thank them for joining in your wedding, and encourage their participation in the ceremony. This also allows you to introduce friends and relatives before the liturgy, rather than waiting until the reception.
The ushers should seat guests close together and toward the front of the church. The aim is to encourage people to interact and form a cohesive assembly so there would be no reason to have a groom’s side and a bride’s side in the church.
After the wedding, please do not use rice, birdseed, confetti or flower petals due to safety concerns and the amount of time for clean-up. A suggested alternative could be bubbles or bells. Please inform your guests of this policy.
Due to the amount of time it takes for your guests to get through a receiving line, please reserve this activity for the reception.
_________ Pray for guidance and direction
__________ Meet with Deacon Joe to start the Pre-marriage form and to schedule a wedding date
__________ Complete the Prepare-Enrich online Assessment
__________ Meet with Mentor Couple 3-4 meetings to review results of Prepare/Enrich Assessment
__________ Submit the Evaluation of Mentoring Experience form to the Marriage Preparation Coordinator
__________ Attend one Archdiocese of Detroit sponsored Marriage Prep Seminar
__________ Submit Certificate of Attendance of Marriage Seminar to the Marriage Preparation Coordinator
__________ Contact Dan Grieg, Music Minister, to plan music at ceremony within 2 months of wedding: [email protected] or after masses
__________ Set up wedding rehearsal date and time within 2 months of wedding with the Marriage Preparation Coordinator
__________ Plan wedding mass using book and worksheet in” Together For Life” book
__________ Designate family members and/or friends to be part of the liturgy
__________ Submit copy of baptism certificate dated within 6 months of wedding
__________ Prepare your wedding program, if desired
__________ Meet with Fr. Stan to discuss details of the mass within 2 weeks of wedding
__________ Submit 3 copies of license/envelope to the attention of the Marriage Preparation Coordinator 2 weeks before wedding
__________ Register in your new parish home @ www.smoth.org